Classic Film of the week (two weeks gone)

So Batman's suit is dark as is Catwoman's, Penguin's, even the Joker's and his little morbid jokes. Every thing  about the batman comics were dark. But then we get brighter with time. Yuk fuck that shit. 

Batman Returns (1992)

Batman now faces two new enemies in Gotham that we all love to hate, hate to love, the Penguin - a warped and obese individual who is intent on being accepted into Gotham society, so he says. Hell-bent businessman Max Schreck is focused  into helping him become Mayor of Gotham and they both attempt to expose Batman in a different light. And also Selina Kyle (aww yeah kitty), Max's secretary, who is transformed into Catwoman, a mysterious sexy figure who has the same personality disorder as Batman (or somewhat worse than the latter), after Max throws her from the top of his building. Batman must now attempt to clear his name, all at the same time deciding just what must be done with Catwoman and Penguin. I love the electricity between Bats and Cats, the chemistry is what I wished I had in my own love life.

A Love story begins

My idol then and now, I'm so gay.

Batman returns, is the classic of my two weeks being away. And no body around can tell me that there has been a better adaptation of the batman comics since. I mean, come on the Penguin looked great and his dark circled face making those dark jokes faced with Catwoman, in her stitched-up with yarn patent black (dark) cat suit was fantastic. Batman was a huge part of the film of course, but I mention him last as all the Batman's seem to be all the same so far in comparison, all stuck up their own arses, just like how Bruce Wayne has been portrayed in not only the comics but the many adaptations of children's  and graphic adult cartoons (none with hardcore Bats fucking the milk out of Cats with a ball of yarn and Batarang imposing sex toys yet!) gets better, a bit on the too serious focus of an action film for a Batman film but not as any where as bad as the two Batman films in the middle that make a mockery out of the franchise.

Deep breaths... huff huff.

Imagine waking up to this fucker!

Batman returns, from what I can remember, captured me when I was too young to be watching a film of the certificate. I think is was either a 12 or 15 certificate. Me and my sister were sent to blockbuster Video at the end of the road from where we lived  by my loving and spoiling Mom and we got to watch it for the first of many (for me) times.

I love a man in costume

Tim Burton, as we know him from Edward scissor hands, The nightmare before Christmas has done a brilliant job at directing this film. I may be standing proud and biased right now, but can you (if ever seen any of the Batman films after seeing Tim Burton films), can you honestly say this has not been the best Batman since and ever.

The better promotional poster

Forget the massive high budget explosive fight scenes from the two updated rebooted versions of Batman (The Dark Knight), forget the cheesy jokes made by Riddler and the not so torched face from Tommy Lee Jones, erm I mean TwoFace.. These Batman’s have nothing on the original dark holding stations of Gotham City like Batman Returns does. I’m not even to sure Batman, the first one out, with Jack Nicolson (Directed by Burton), even got to be as dark as it could have been.  After Returns, there was Batman Forever, Batman and Robin and then that one  with the awesome looking TwoFace (Yes graphics do look good I’m not knocking them) and then the one with that dude that died a while ago, Heath ledger.. Oh boo, he died and so woman filled the cinemas, which they would have never of done if he didn’t pass on (I smell lazy box office stunt).

So yes, in order we have the two first Batman’s, Batman, Batman Returns (the best), Batman Forever, Batman and Robin, Batman begins (reboot) and lastly Batman: The Dark Knight. The Two last films are a good watch visually, the acting a bit on the too seriuos side, but good watching for a reboot of the Batman franchise.

Rent the all and watch in order to get the full Batman in film experience if you  haven't already. You won't be disappointed. I wonder where Batman will be going from here. But remeber you MUST rent or own Batman Returns to be a true fan.

"Mistleltoe can be deadly if you eat it" "Mmmm, but a kiss can be deadlier if you mean it." (Bats and Cats on the roof top.

Films of the Week!!

Empath.... I'll get to that later. 

The first film... AntiChrist. 

A couple lose their young son when he falls out the window trying to catch his teddy while they have (such boring) sex. The mother's grief has sent her to hospital, but her the-rapist husband brings her home adamant on treating her depression himself through chi-chat and mental excersies. To confront her fears of the world and solve her problems they go to stay at their  cabin in the middle of now where in the woods (Now you know some fucked up shit is gonna happen in this film.), "Eden", where something untold, unseen happened the  summer before (This woman be on a fucking trip). Told in  chapters with a prologue and epilogue, the film details acts of lustful cruelty as the man and woman slowly unfold the dark and tormented side of nature outside and within. This film is slow, silent and with substance that draws you in if you can bare it. Not only have I watched it numerous times but every time I caught a glimpse of who the woman really is/was. A children abuser in her twisted state. Every stab, and fingering moment to the scenes where she cuts off her clitoris or vigerously wanks her knocked out hunk of a husbands, thick, creamy... No I won't go there. (COCK!) there I did it. I felt every moment in my body. 

A bit of an empath, it was like all the thing happening to him and her were happing to me. I was drawn so far into the film. 

Some may say it's vulger, however I feel it was written and Directed with Crazy-Mad-Sexy- Style. Being in Balck and white at time with the inclusion of slow motion and not to much Music, I had no distratctions other than my Cat on heat rubbing her pussy on my toes, to deture my thoughts and eyes. As the title suggests,(AntiChrist) it's not about the devil himself as such but the devil or demons I think, woman have within them. There are refrences to women, death, devils, evil and witch craft through the books and painting the Crazed woman is obsessed with. Watch this is a must.

The only thing missing, are subtitles and a French audio.

Anamorph. Just watched. And if you check the trailer later on you'll notice these two films have something in common.

If you liked Se7en and you like morbid art work, you'd enjoy this detective film. Well I did. The end was a bit blah to me, but I guess Thats what i liked about it also. 

Rugged Willem

Sexy Speedman

So Stan is a quiet, solitary detective in once again the United States New York city. He solved a gruesome case of serial murders, although an undercover police officer lost her life. A new set of similar murders begins, the bodies are creativelyin a deathly way displayed and the killer uses equipment from art and movie making in the tableau (in the vernacular... In the Picture), or he leaves a clue as to where the investigators are to stand to get the full artistic effect and they really don't get this first off. Stan is paired with a  detective Scott Sexy Speedman, Carl, who (Whom) he brushes off when Carl wants to get to know him. As pieces of the puzzle fall in place at his lonley feet, it's a race against time to prevent the next killing, quite possibly someone close to Stan again. So the films story isn't that original, however i love films with Willem Dafoe in them. Hey maybe some one can arragne a Xmas present collection of films with him as lead for me. THANKS!

So an Anamorph(osis) picture is what? 

Watch this and find out if your not too dictionary bible. 

Back to painting now! Check the linking trailer

Get  Antichrist and Anamorph

Right Now it's time for me and Dafoe to get reaquainted. 

(Classic) Movie Of The Week

Hey Homosapiens it's my Movie of the week.

Come on say it with me..... "Your terrible...." What????? "Muriel". 

Muriel's Wedding is one of my favorite films and nobody i know doesn't know of this true cult(stylish classic) among the ages. Even my brothers of 11 and 12 know this film. 

If you don't know about this film I'm sorry but I have to give you a "Terrible Muriel" background on this ABBA-cum-stained-Mattress of a film (Any thing involing cum is good in my books). 

Muriel finds her life in Porpoise Spit, Australia fucking boring as paint drying on a cracked wall and spends her days locked-up alone in her room listening to Abba music (She wants to be.... a dancing queen) and dreaming of her wedding day. Only big gap of a problem, Muriel has never had a boyfriend or a link (Date). Then she steals some money to go on a tropical get-away,tries to hang out with these fucking buliemic bitches she knew back home (doen't work), then meets a crazy-sexy-horny-cool friend, changes her name to Mariel, and turns her world upside down through the little things she does. The tiyle is the title and basically says it all with a twist. You have to watch this film before you die I'm telling you.

"She not just getting married, she's getting even."

"Your terrible Muriel!"

Muriels wedding- Starring: Toni Collete and from "Six feet under" Rachel Griffiths

Music by ABBA